This coming May will mark the third year of my second installation as a youth pastor.  It has been a good journey.  There are few things that I have learned along the way and few more things that I wish I would have known before I embarked upon this great journey. 

A few things that I have learned.

1. When dealing with youth, leadership, parents and volunteers, it's better to be a person of integrity rather than being a person of creativity. Don't get me wrong creativity is good, but at the end of the day people want to know whether or not you are honest and have good moral principles.  Youth will respect you more if you are honest and transparent with them.
2. When dealing with youth they want to know that you care.  I tell my volunteers all the time that we want to create an atmosphere where the youth feel welcomed.  We want to be that place where everybody knows their name. The only way that we are able to achieve this goal is by showing that we care.  Creating an environment where everybody is somebody goes a long way.  Showing a young person that you are interested in their person hood means a whole lot to them. 
3. You don't need to be the smartest person in the room.  As a leader I try to do my best to gain insight and input from my volunteers so that we can provide the best ministry possible to our youth.  I tell the volunteers all the time that we all are collectively responsible for the growth and development of our youth.   
4.  When you make a mistake, own it!  I tell people all the time that I do not have a problem admitting that I am wrong.  In fact, this helps me to grow.  I even practice this principle with our youth.  If I do something that may not have been good, I admit it.  If I say something that I should not have said, I admit it.  Leaders can't practice this principle enough.  Oh, the arrogance we deal with nowadays.
5.  I have learned that you can never do enough with youth.  Youth are always looking for the next greatest thing.  They are always looking for more and better.  In order to deal with this potential problem we take down times within our ministry.  We do this so that the work never becomes more taxing than it ought, and that the youth understand that Jesus is still the most important factor.
6.  I have learned that it's ok to say no.  This is hard for some, but it's not that hard for me.  I have learned that in order for me to be productive, healthy, have a balance life, and live a good life that I must say no to some people, projects and events. 

A few things that I wished I would have known beforehand.

1.  I wish I knew that I could not make everybody happy.  Trying to satisfy everybody in word and in deed is not possible.  If you do you will get burned!  Some people will not like you, or what you do no matter how you do it.  It's that simple.  I have learned that it's not my job to make people happy.  I can't make decisions that will make people happy.
2.  Numbers don't matter!  Putting programs in place to attract more youth is not necessarily that important.  I mean, of course you don't want to put hundreds of thousands of dollars into a program and have minimal support from youth.  But, the fact of the matter is that reaching one youth is worth more than a million dollars, and if a few kids are reached with that 100,000 then it was well worth it.  You cannot get discouraged, or abort your mission because lots of youth are not coming to your programs. 
3.  Stick to your vision no matter what.  Do not deviate from the mission and vision that God has given you to reach youth.  Some programs may change, but never dump the vision because it seems like it is not working.  Vision takes time to manifest, and we must employ extreme patience in pursuing that vision.  Do not allow someone else to give you a vision that doesn't coincide with your vision.  Sometimes people have their own agenda's and you have to know this. 
4.  Be humble.  As a leader, we think that we know it all.  But, that doesn't work when it comes to growth and expansion.  Humility is crediting others for doing the work as much as you are credited for doing the work.  Being humble means that you remain open. 
5.  Value your own experience, knowledge, and expertise.  We are leaders for a reason.  God saw, or sees something in us and has put us in leadership positions for a reason.  We have to do a better job of accepting that fact.  I had to realize that I'm a leader because I'm a leader.  No matter what people think about us, it doesn't matter.  You are a leader for a very special reason. 

There are probably a few more reasons that we could name, and the list could be very long.  But, these are some of the things that have made me who I am today, and are making me who I am today. You probably have some as well in which I could learn from.  Please name them.  I'd love to hear from you.    

Today marks the 10-year anniversary of the day in which I took my wife’s hand in marriage.  It has been a remarkable journey.  The years have come and left faster than Usain Bolt running the 100m (9.76).  He is arguably the fastest man ever, and commentators are now calling him, “the great man.”  This is an admirable feat.  One in which he, his family, and others should be very proud.  I feel the same way about my 10-year anniversary. 

Throughout our lives, we look for that one special person whom we admire, adore, respect, cherish, and love.  Some of us are blessed enough to find that special someone, and others of us are still looking, or have thrown in the towel, or have just plain resorted to not being married. And, some of us are even on our second or third go round.  But, whatever the case, in this particular situation it doesn’t really matter.  What matters here is that love is possible.  It is possible for those who put in the time and do the work.  I’m not talking about ordinary love, the kind that is fleeting, or tainted, but the kind that is pure, undefiled, and holy.  This kind of love takes hard work, and discipline.  Once we are blessed to find that special person, it is up to us to do the necessary work in order to be with that person, and to have the kind of loving relationship that we so desire.  It is possible.  Is it always peaches and cream, not by a long shot?  Is it always hunky dory, not in the least?  But, once you find it, and once God has blessed you with that very special person then it is possible for you to experience love in the greatest of fashions.  

I relish the fact that my wife and I have been married for ten years.  It hasn’t been easy, but one thing that we decided to do was to stay the course, to finish the race, and to fight the good fight of faith.  There were those who started out around the same time that we did, but for some reason or another, they are no longer together.  Some quit, only after a few short years, and some after a few more.  The sad thing, however, is that in each case, one party, or the other chose to exit the marriage only after a short time.  To this, I do not judge but remain prayerful.  I remain prayerful that marriage is no longer seen as something made from the stock of fairytales, and fables.  Likewise, I remain prayerful that marriage is no longer portrayed as a business deal with an exit strategy.   Finally, I remain prayerful that holy matrimony morphs greatly over the next several decades into the respected institution that the Holy Scriptures speaks so beautifully about.  Those are my prayers, and for them I am unashamed.  There is much more to be said about this topic and I’m certain that others have something to say as well, but for now, it suits me well to leave you with the fact that marriage, and love, are scared, delicate, and tender matters of the heart.  We should do our part to respect them and honor them to the best of our abilities.

To my wife, my love, and my most beautiful partner in life, I say these poetic words:

Beauty is the sun rising on the horizon of a beachfront view
Beauty is the tenderness of laughter and love echoing from deep within you
Beauty is the softness serenade of your warm embrace
Beauty is the love of my life reflections of this thing radiating from your face
Beauty is something that is not fleeting or untrue
Beauty by its own definition is the essence of you. 

Check out http://www.usainbolt.com/ for more information concerning Usain Bolt.

Choosing Gratefulness

In many ways, I can say that I am profoundly grateful to God at this moment in time for allowing me to see the negative in my own perspective about my life, and giving me the opportunity to change it. 

Developing a heart of gratefulness and gratitude comes over time and a change in perspective.  Time provides us with the opportunity to be grateful consistently.  Forming the habit of being grateful is a learned behavior.  We teach kids, or at least we try to teach kids to be grateful for the many blessings they have in their own lives.  But, as adults where do we go wrong? 

The world can be a brutal beast if we let it.  Life’s ebbs and flows often through us off cue, without us expecting.  We then develop an exterior of hardness, coldness, and callousness, in order to protect ourselves from things that prey upon us. But, instead of it protecting us, it blinds us and prevents us from seeing God’s grace and the abundance of goodness available to us.

This takes a change in perspective. 

It’s not a one-time decision, made in the spur of the moment.  It takes persistence, and the skill of staying the course.  It's a patiently learned principle. 

For some this may be elementary.  For others, you may already practice this principle.  But, for me, I confess, it's easier said than done.  I have my days in which I am very unappreciative.  I confess this, I own this.  So, today I'm making the choice to be grateful.  

Being grateful lightens the load we carry from day to day.  Being grateful exposes the sinfulness of selfishness, greed, and want.  Being grateful helps us to see God. 

Gratefulness unlocks the doors that are right in front of us.  We see clearer the door of opportunity hid behind the sty of ungratefulness when we become grateful.  This is powerful!  If we want power let us choose to change our negative perspective to one filled with gratefulness. 

As I pilgrimage this day, I am grateful for the wonder of God, the provision of God, the love of God, the life that God has given me, and the opportunity God has provided me with to change my ungrateful perspective.

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?

If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? 

But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door;

it desires to have you, but you must master it.”

Gen 4.6-7

Post Graduation Slump

I have been out of school for approximately four months.  It has been very difficult to say the least.  First, I expected that as soon as I graduated there would be a host of employment opportunities waiting for me.  Where I got this idea from, I don’t know.  I mean, I am employable, I have a Master’s of Divinity degree, and I have credible references, isn’t that enough? Even if the jobs are not in accordance with my studies, I thought that at least for the most part I could find something.  But, no one is calling me back.  The second reason it has been difficult for me is that with only one income (wife’s) there is not enough money to go around.  At times, it gets hard to manage.  I have been in school full time for the past three and a half years obtaining my degree, and for the most part we have been surviving on her one income along with student loans but now that I have graduated, we don’t get those anymore.  I guess you can say that in all of this my faith is being challenged.  Right now, I have many more questions than answers. 

Now, before I go any further, my traditional way of answering the various questions in my life has been to analyze my situation, the decisions that I have made, and the choices I chose, often times to the point of over analyzing just to make sense of it all.  I provided you with the surface reality of my circumstance, but please be aware that it goes much deeper.  So, since this is a blog, I want to do something different.  For the next several months, I am going to deliberately view and do things differently.  I guess you can say that I am going to begin the process of realigning my perspective and my spirituality.  Specifically, I want to tackle several different areas.  One, what am I supposed to learn or unlearn during this time?  Two, how can I see God at work during this season of my life?  Three, what do I have within my person or possession that I can tap into or create that will help provide dignity, and meaning to my life?  Four, from that thing on the inside of my person how can I use it to benefit others? 

In order for me to accomplish these goals, there are certain principles and practices that I must employ.  For starters, what habits do I need to change, and what must I do in order to form new ones?  What spiritual practice (prayer, meditation, nature walk, silence, journaling, etc.) can I employ that will help me become more sensitive toward seeing God at work in my life?  In what ways can I focus on what I have before me and what God has already given me, and then maximize it?  What can I create or do (books, art, poems, organization, program, etc.) that resonates with who I am and witnesses with and to the God who has created me?  This is enough for now.  While there are other things that I desire to do differently, and view differently, I will start here.  Stay tuned to my postings and be sure to follow as I chart my progress.    

Life should be a pilgrimage not a trip.

Creating Your World

Before I begin, let me lay down this disclaimer.  This blog is the inquiry into a specific thought or idea that I have heard before, and that others a presently practicing and are Facebooking and Tweeting similar thoughts and ideas about each day.  So, thank you to those of you who already express the same sentiment.  You know who you are.    

Recently, have been contemplating the thought, and probably more accurate, the reality that we as individuals create the world in which we abide.  Each day I hear this strangely odd voice telling me to create my reality.  I hear it so often, that it’s generating an overwhelming curiosity.  What is this phrase that I am hearing in my head and in my ears about creating my reality?  Could it be God?  Or, is it just me?  Hmm….  I wonder. 

Here’s another disclaimer.  I am not this type of person who easily believes that I can think things into existence. This is not who I am.  I am not one who simply believes that I can think material things into my possession.  I do believe however, that we can generate for ourselves positivity and negativity.  In other words, if you think badly you can create a certain atmosphere where bad things occur.  Likewise, if you think positively positive things can occur. 

This may seem a bit odd, but the truth of the matter is that we are in control of the outlook and most often the reality pertaining to our situations and circumstances. 

Normally, I bark at such theories calling it irrational and unintellectual bull and nonsense.  But, today I am taking a different approach. I am intrigued by this thought, so I feel that it is my duty to continue exploring the matter. 

The reason why I say that I normally bark at such theories that presuppose that we are in control of our reality is because, what do I say to the person who had no choice in the matter pertaining to their situation?  How do I explain, job loss, and homelessness, and mental illness, and rape and murder, and other such overwhelming tragedies like earthquakes and tsunami’s that wreak havoc on  humanity any given Sunday?  To that, I do not have an answer.  I can’t and will not sum it up as bad Karma. If you don’t know what I mean then Google it.  To think in that manner is not my cup of tea and to provide a Christianized answer would be too easy as well.  Therefore, I am not ashamed in saying I don’t know, and that I can’t explain those particular situations.  I don’t know why people incur such tragic situations.  I don’t know why when I was a little boy that my younger sister died of Leukemia. I can’t explain it.  I don’t try.  Do I try to make sense, yes?  Do I succeed in making sense, no?  Did my mother and father create a reality in which my little sister had to die?  I don’t think so.  Did my little sister create her own reality, one that ended in the loss of her life?   I don’t think so.  So, for me to sit here and try to explain the unknown is simply foolish. Instead, I try to respect the unknowable, and the tremendously unexplainable ways in which God and creation work.  This may be another topic, but for now, it hurts less, and I’d rather honor the mysteries of God than to keep trying to answer the unanswerable.        

So, instead of trying to explain tragedy, I rather explore the idea that the average person is quite capable of creating a world or reality for his or her self that is remarkably great and significant. I mean that I believe that as an individual we can choose to view our life, or world in any way we choose to view it.  It is ours for the choosing.  It is our reality or world to create.  It is not up to anyone else but us to create our reality.  What we accept and how we view the world in which we live in is entirely up to us.  There is no way around this.  Perspective is always a matter of choice, and each of us always has a choice in this matter.  Therefore for me, in my world I create and allow to exist ideals that include optimism, hope, peace, blessing, prosperity, greatness, success, joy, fellowship, friendship, love, happiness, nobility, regality, wonder, amazement, exuberance, and much, much more! 

This is how I begin to create my own world, with my thoughts!  Secondly, I do my best to employ a set of principles that help me to reach my goals and objectives.      

First, the outlook of my current situation or circumstance must remain positive.  This is the starting point.  It is imperative that I gain and keep the proper perspective about my current situation. 

Second, building specific habits that help me actualize a certain goal is critical.  Goals and dreams without an action plan, is just creative imagination.  I tell myself that I must work for the life that I desire.  There are no handouts and there are no free lunches.  If I am blessed along the way then so be it, and that’s just icing on the cake. 

Third, build reinforcement.  If the goal is to create wealth, build the necessary reinforcement it takes to help you stay the course. 

Fourth, I continue to speak positively about my situation, myself, my family, and my ability to obtain my goals. I resist the temptation to allow excuses, and distractions to derail me from achieving my goal. 

Fifth, I always, always remember that God desires for me to be successful and God is with me and not against me.

These are my thoughts and ideas about creating a world in which one is happy and content.  Thanks for reading.    

Church and culture of young adult

I recently read an article that claimed that studies
show that twenty something year olds are dropping out of church at an alarming
rate.  When questioned, they gave reasons
that the church is non-community, homophobic, out of touch with the real world,
legalistic, anti-art, judgmental and anti-intellectual.  Furthermore, twenty year olds claimed that
someone or something wounded them; they were members of a church where the
pastor committed some sexual sin, or were members of a congregation where the
leaders were more concerned with the building than the care of the people. Even
still, as if those few reasons are not enough much of their disappearance is
because of the changing culture.  Here,
the church seems to disconnect from the pace and trend of current technological
advances and lags behind leaving a chasm between church and real world.  Because of the trend and pace of technology, community
happens elsewhere, within the world of social media instead of the local
church. 

The aforementioned reasons are interesting and
thought provoking to say the least. While the comments do provide modest critique about the community of the
church and to some degree is necessary it fails to realize two very important
points. 

First, church and community don’t just happen on its
own.  Intentional relationship based church
and community happens when individuals are unafraid and openly willing to be
involved with others.  It’s like sending
a friend request except it’s done in person. To this, what strikes me as odd is that outside of the church most twenty
something year old people are very pursuant of intimacy, love, commonality,
career, goals, human rights, and political and social equality, which all specify
community, but for one reason or another have great difficulties doing the same
within the context of the four square walls we call church.   

Secondly, and it’s my view, although probably stated
before asks the question, “When did updating your current status on a
particular social network to a bunch of so called friends qualify as community.”  Is this some sort of new kind of community
that speaks to the heart of our human existence?  Quite possibly.  I mean its worthy of our attention.  Or, are we seeing a redefinition of community
morphing into something greater as our lives become more globally centered.   Hmm, more globally centered.  Is that really what is happening?  If so, then maybe, just maybe it’s time that
we rethink church.   

After talking to self for a few days and doing a bit
of mental jousting, I decided to ask my 21-year-old daughter what she thought.
To her point, and probably the underlining reason why twenty something year olds
are leaving the church is because the church does a poor job at providing the
common ground necessary to foster community. She said, while church is good, it doesn’t provide the common ground
that work, school, military, and other social places do which are necessary to
foster relationships.  She said people
come and go at church and it’s easier to neglect community because there is
nothing that brings people together in a real intimate way.  Work, school, and other social institutions
force people to build relationship whether good or bad.  The church doesn’t do this.  So, for a young adult, it is easier to go
somewhere where you are known and people listen to you, talk with you, and
share with you.  In other words, it’s
easier to find community on a popular social network than it is in the
church. 

This being said, maybe church ought to be intentional
about creating a community like atmosphere where individuals get to know one
another in a real and intimate way. Traditional church is done in the fashion that people go to hear God
speak through the pastor or leader.  This
is okay in a sense.  But, it begs to
question that if the church is losing membership to social media then maybe it’s
time that we do church at the table where different aspects of Gods voice can
be heard, and through that each person is valued, known, and appreciated as
someone special.  How this is done is difficult,
and maybe this is just a start.  But, if
church continues in the way that it has been for centuries then maybe it is time
that we take a cue from these twenty something year olds and do something
different.   

The kingdom of God for a contemporary society still means the 'rule, reign and manifestation of God' in the earth.